Emotional Triggers
Emotions play a significant role in how we interact with others and navigate the challenges of daily life. Upset often arises when we perceive or feel that something has disrupted our sense of safety, fairness, or dignity. Recognising these triggers can help us better understand our own emotions and respond empathetically to others who may be upset.
This document explores the four main causes of upset and provides insights into how each can manifest and how to address them effectively:
Conflict arises when you perceive or feel one of the following has occurred.
Feeling Threatened
When we perceive a threat—whether physical, emotional, or social—it triggers a fight, flight, or freeze response. This sense of danger can leave us feeling vulnerable, anxious, or defensive.
Examples:
- A student feels unsafe due to bullying or intimidation.
- A colleague feels their job is at risk because of critical feedback.
- An individual feels excluded from a social group, fearing rejection.
How to Address It:
- Acknowledge the fear: Validate the person’s feelings and assure them that their concerns are taken seriously: “I can see this situation is making you feel unsafe. Let’s talk about how we can address it.”
- Create a safe space: Provide reassurance and reduce perceived threats, such as ensuring clear boundaries or offering support.
Feeling Frustrated
Frustration occurs when obstacles prevent us from achieving a goal, fulfilling a need, or resolving a problem. This can lead to feelings of helplessness, anger, or irritation.
Examples:
- A student struggles to complete a task despite repeated attempts.
- A care worker feels overwhelmed due to lack of resources or support.
- An individual becomes irritated when their opinions are dismissed in a group discussion.
How to Address It:
- Acknowledge the challenge: Show empathy for the individual’s struggles: “I understand how frustrating this must be for you. Let’s find a solution together.”
- Offer assistance: Break tasks into smaller steps or provide alternative approaches to reduce obstacles.
Encourage patience: Help the individual focus on progress rather than perfection.
Feeling Humiliated
Humiliation arises when someone feels embarrassed, disrespected, or belittled, often in front of others. This can lead to shame, anger, or withdrawal.
Examples:
- A child is scolded publicly for making a mistake.
- A team member is mocked for sharing an idea during a meeting.
- An individual feels disrespected when their cultural practices are ignored or dismissed.
How to Address It:
- Apologise if appropriate: If you’ve unintentionally caused the humiliation, acknowledge it and express regret: “I’m sorry if my words upset you—it wasn’t my intention.”
- Restore dignity: Speak to the person privately to address their concerns and rebuild trust.
- Encourage self-esteem: Reinforce their value and focus on their strengths.
Suffering an Injustice
Injustice occurs when we feel that we or others have been treated unfairly or denied something deserved. This can evoke anger, resentment, or a strong desire for fairness.
Examples:
- A student feels unfairly disciplined compared to their peers.
- A care worker feels overlooked for a promotion despite meeting all the requirements.
- An individual feels wronged when their contributions go unrecognised.
How to Address It:
- Acknowledge the perception of unfairness: Validate their feelings and assure them that their concerns are being heard: “I understand why this feels unfair to you. Let’s discuss it further.”
- Investigate the situation: Gather facts and provide clarity on decisions or actions to ensure transparency.
- Seek resolution: Work collaboratively to find a fair outcome, even if it means compromising.
Practical Tips for Responding to Upset
- Stay Calm and Empathetic: Remain composed and avoid escalating the situation. Use active listening to show you care.
- Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage the person to share their feelings and experiences: “Can you tell me more about what’s bothering you?”
- Validate Feelings: Let them know their emotions are valid, even if you don’t fully agree with their perspective.
- Focus on Solutions: Work together to address the issue or alleviate the upset.
- Follow Up: Check in later to ensure the person feels supported and that the situation has been resolved.
Conclusion
Understanding the four main causes of upset—feeling threatened, frustrated, humiliated, or suffering an injustice—is essential for creating supportive environments in both educational and care settings. By recognising these triggers and responding with empathy and practical solutions, we can foster trust, reduce conflict, and promote emotional well-being for everyone involved.
These insights serve as a foundation for improving communication, building stronger relationships, and helping others feel respected and valued.
Version: Version: 1.04